long time. ♥ 12:18 PM

so it's nearing one am as i write this blog, but i probably won't post it until... eh.. later today. much later today - at least eight hours later. i honestly have no clue what this is going to be about, i guess just updating people and whatnot on my life currently. so here we go...

so the play that i whored out everywhere, the hunchback of notre dame goes west, is finished, and it's a bittersweet goodbye, i guess. i had a part that i didn't necessarily love - but you thankfully couldn't tell while i was onstage - but i dealt with it. i almost passed out before friday night's show due to exhaustion and vertigo, and again on saturday due to pain. but i was able to pull it together before i went onstage. it was just hell offstage for me, laying in the back of the sanctuary, not moving until i absolutely had to. and in the dressing room? well, i definitely looked like i had died... but oh well. i'm exciting to start the actual hunchback of notre dame now, and i'm also super excited that acts has a building now! acts will stay alive for my senior year :]

i'm slowly sorta planning an acoustic show...? sorta.

so, for those of you who haven't read my bulletins lately (namely the one entitled i feel like death) let me explain to you that i am not dying anymore. i was pretty sick from thursday to monday morning, and i wasn't sure what it was. a combination of the flu, a cold, strep, and my neck was acting up again from when i was an idiot back in may. but don't worry, anyone. i'm alive and well now. medicine (and pain killers as the acts group found out the other weekend) looooves my body.

i'm currently listening to panic at the disco's first cd, a fever you can't sweat out, as i write this. and i must say that it is probably one of my top five albums that i own. i listen to it at least once a day - and i am never ceased to be amazed and ryan ross's lyrics and brendon urie's smooth as butter voice. (mm, yes please...) i was really, really disappointed in their second album, so much that i will never go to see them live because of it. it just wasn't panic at the disco. the one song that i like on it isn't even because it sounds like them - because it doesn't. i like just the lyrics, and it's a soothing song. (when the day met the night).

oh, and i just saw the music video for gives you hell by the all american rejects. let me tell you, I LOVED it. it entertained me to no end for the whole like... three minutes that it played. it was great, and i won't lie - it had me giggling like a little eleven year old girl watching prince caspian.

another one of my favorite bands is something corporate (big surprise, right? no one was expecting andrew mcmahon's amazing skills to be on my favorites list. note the sarcasm.) and i am constantly in awe of his lyrics. i adore him, and let me tell you, the chance to write with mr. mcmahon? i would die right then and there. i can see it now....

andrew : hello.

kj : -inhale-

andrew : hello?

kj : -pass out-

yeah, that's basically how it would go down with either him, jon foreman, hayley williams, or jeremy davis. oh, and stephen christian. don't get me started on those four... i'm such a music geek.

i could be terribly cliche and say that music is my life. it is, to an extent, but there are other things in live i love more than amazing music that you just have to dance and sing to, no matter where or what time it is. (panic at the disco's first cd being some of that music.) taking pictures of my friends is one of those things. getting that perfect angle at a rock show is a natural high for me - even though i personally think i suck at photography. there are few things i love more than adventures with my best friends. i've found that while you are trying to get somewhere you have never been before, if you get lost and you're with friends, that's okay, because, sometimes, you might run into something you never would have seen before.

i suppose you could say i have a mild fear or disorganization. i would not go as far as to say i have a obsessive compulsive disorder (though, funny enough, i have been tested for it before..), but if i was even an ounce more neurotic than i am at this point in time, it might very well turn into that. so i suppose i have to keep an eye on that so i don't turn into some obsessive creep as an old woman. i organize everything i can in my room alphabetically, and if it isn't alphabetical.... well, let's just say i've flipped and hyperventilated about it before. but that's besides the point - cause that was one time and there were about ten people scrutinizing my room...

but i'm not the type of person who schedules out everything and i refuse to do anything not on my list. i'm not that kind of organized. if i do have a schedule (people don't buy me day planners anymore..), and something is on it, it will get done. no matter what spontaneous ideas present themselves, priorities come first. and my friends are at the top of that list.

they are the family that i can come to for anything. so, let's say, for example, that someone was giving one of my friends a hard time for something. i don't let that fly. i never do. you break their heart, i'll break your face, to be terribly cliche. but, basically, what this means is that if you are doing something i don't really like to one of my friends, i'll tell you as much, and from there, you better stop doing that, for your benefit, not mine. i see no problem in hunting up all of your records and blackmailing you. my sister doesn't work for the police department for nothing.

but while i love everyone here in colorado... i honestly can't wait to leave, at least leave this small town berthoud that i live in. it's really not all it's cracked up to be. call me a cynic or whatever you want to, but i see this place for what it really is in my eyes. it's a dirty city filled with a whole bunch of crap that i would never want to deal with. it seems like almost everyone there is dysfunctional or fake in some way or another.

whatever.

i need to go to sleep now.